I realise that one might not think to get marriage advice from someone who just got divorced. However, upon reading this article, you might just change your mind. Gerald Rogers, upon the finalisation of his divorce, had 20 points worth of wisdom to dole out – in my mind, all things that help to keep the love young.

I’ve picked out my favourites and paraphrased them below:

Never stop courting. Never stop dating. Never get lazy in your love.

Protect your own heart. There is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except your wife.

Always see the best in her. Focus on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love.

Be silly…don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

Be vulnerable. You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and acknowledge your mistakes.

Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share everything. It takes courage to love fully enough to open your heart and let her in even when you don’t know if she will like what she finds.

Never stop growing together. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past.

Always choose love. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices are governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage.

In the end, marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. 

Tamara El-Rahi is an associate editor of MercatorNet. A Journalism graduate from the University of Technology Sydney, she lives in Australia with her husband and two daughters.