There has been many a year where I’ve greeted Valentine’s Day morning with a bit of pining – rechecking my phone to make sure there wasn’t a message after all, looking for roses waiting at the front door, keeping an eye out for the postman…

Pathetic, but true. And I have a feeling that I’m not the only girl that has felt this way. No wonder the day rolls around with a myriad of Facebook posts about anti-Valentine parties and bitter tweets about the pitiable commercialism of the day. Why so harsh?

Unfortunately, in today’s society, too many girls deal with their longings for genuine love by putting down others that have been fortunate to find it. Why must we be this way? I feel that the media, and the way it constantly pits one female against the other instead of encouraging them to be happy for each other, has a lot to do with this. Most, if not all, women wish to find that guy that can be their best friend for life, and who will bring out the best in them. This is such a beautiful hope, and so if it has been realised for another, I think she deserves that I feel happy for her instead of jealous. Not to mention that I’d be in a better mood with this attitude too!

And it’s not only this resentment, but the fact that all ‘successful’ women in movies and the media have a man by their side – it seems like an expected condition for happiness. It is not often that the single years of a woman’s life are shown in a positive light, unless it’s that single few weeks before the next boyfriend. No wonder girls don’t realise that they are allowed to enjoy their “singleness”! This is terribly sad really, since single years are an amazing time: to develop oneself and one’s values, and to form really great friendships! I wish this was shown more in mainstream media!

Anyway, this year I was in a frame of mind where I didn’t spend the week before Valentine’s Day pining away. Maybe it was the fact that I was busy with things that I love, seeing friends and just trying to get out of myself and not always live in my own little bubble. Which made the day surprisingly sweet when I got Valentine’s texts from friends, was able to be genuinely happy for my friends who got spoilt by their other halves, and my favourite – got a Valentine’s note from my 6 year old sister. Life is good!

This article was initially posted on Tamara’s personal blog.

Tamara El-Rahi is an associate editor of MercatorNet. A Journalism graduate from the University of Technology Sydney, she lives in Australia with her husband and two daughters.