This is the second instalment of an Australian mother’s harrowing experience with a trans-identifying daughter. The first article was published on March 25.
Our daughter reached out to us in mid-November 2021, shortly after her 21st birthday. She had not spoken to us since January 2021 — and that had been to tell us she never wanted to see or speak to us again. She started coming over for dinner, almost every night. It was not always pleasant. In the second week after contacting us, she called begging to be picked up from the flat where she was living. We picked her up and she did not sleep another night at her flat.
The following week we helped her move her belonging out of the flat. Her room was like a tornado had been through it – she was clearly in a very bad place, mentally. We put in a huge day of packing and cleaning and managed to remove all her belongings, including furniture.
She had been living with a trans person who was no longer speaking to her. The trans person’s partner was a MTF trans who we later found photos of online, lounging in lingerie and posing with a hypodermic syringe captioned “Friday night bimbo injections” & “Validate me”. I felt sick to think of who and what she had been exposed to.
Our daughter was not an easy person to have back in our home. It had been almost three years since she had lived with us, and her very poor mental health made it extremely challenging. She was still full of hate towards us, as we had never affirmed her transgender identity. She lay in bed most days.
Then, on December 19, after being back with us for 3½ weeks she left without warning. A huge FTM trans thug came into our home to pick her up. My husband and son were away and I walked out the back to feed our dogs, only to come face to face with this huge trans thug. I asked her to leave, but not only did she refuse to leave, she barged past me, into our house, and starting carrying our daughter’s belongings out to her car. We had security cameras installed only recently, and the whole incident was caught on camera. I asked our daughter, “what are you doing?”, but she refused to speak to me and left with the trans thug.
My heart was racing, I was shaking and in shock. My husband and son were not due home for hours and I was very distressed.
I reported the incident to the police, as I had the motor vehicle registration of the trans thug, and wanted the police to take action about what we thought was trespass. After many phone calls the police eventually came to our house. They said they would contact the trans thug and give her a warning not to enter our premises again.
Our daughter blocked our numbers again, so we could not contact her. I had no idea where she was. I had only been speaking with her the morning of the day she left — about Christmas and all our plans, and my hope that she would come with us on our family holiday in January 2022.
Christmas came and went and we had heard nothing. I packed away the presents that I had bought for her. Then on New Year’s Day I had a phone call from her, telling me she was in a very bad place mentally and would I come and pick her up. I said, yes of course, so she said she would pack her bags then call me back to tell me where to collect her. She did not call me back and would not take my calls. The following day she phoned to say she was not coming back to live with us, in fact she was coming over at 4:30pm to collect the last of her belongings. She wanted me to put her belongings out on the street, but as we live in the inner city I said no, that was silly as they could be stolen. I said I would leave them at the front step of the house and open the gates.
She turned up with the same trans thug who once again entered our property and once again refused to leave. Our daughter had shaved her head and would not speak to us or look at us. It was the most distressing experience to see her look so unhappy and leave again without explanation.
I phoned the police again and said now it is twice that this trans thug has come onto our property and refused to leave. The policeman told me he had not been able to contact the person, despite me providing him with the registration of the vehicle. I sent the policeman an email, voicing my shock that he had taken no action, and finally he responded to say that he had contacted the trans thug and given her a warning.
Then on January 6 my husband had a phone call from our daughter, telling him that she was in the mental health ward of a local hospital and was being discharged the following day, and would he pick her up. She phoned again the following day, January 7, 2022, and he collected her from the hospital.
We were leaving on our annual two-week family holiday on January 8, and told her that she would have to come with us. We certainly could not leave her at home alone in such a state. We were driving three hours north to a holiday house, and two of her older brothers (both married with two children each) were also coming with their families, as well as her 16-year-old brother. She refused to get out of bed the day we were leaving. My husband told me and her brother to take one car and go, which eventually we did.
We were also going to visit her grandfather, who had recently moved to the town where we were going, as he is in poor health and could no longer manage on his own. He moved to live with my husband’s sister. My husband spent hours pleading with her to get out of bed, as this may be the last chance she would have to see her grandfather as he is so unwell. Finally, she got out of bed about 5pm, so my husband packed his car and left with her, arriving at 9pm that night.
She spent the next week refusing to get out of bed. She would sneak out of her room to eat when everyone else had left the holiday house, but would not join us for meals or any activities we did. We were moving on to a second holiday house for the second week of the holiday, so she had to get out of bed that day to move. When we arrived at the second holiday house she went straight to bed and would not get out, except to occasionally shower or eat when we were all out of the house.
We tried to talk to her and ask her to join us going for walks, to the beach etc but she would not. One night when I was trying to talk to her and asking why she would not come out and have dinner with us, she told me she hates herself and hates what testosterone has done to her body. On the last full day of the holiday, we were having our last visit to see my husband’s father, and she agreed to come with us. I was so pleased. Then she actually came for a walk along the river with her brother and me.
We have now been home from the holiday for over a week and she has barely got out of bed. It is 3pm as I write this and she is still in bed. I am trying to get her admitted to a private mental health hospital, but the first hospital we tried have refused to take her. The psychiatrist that I started her seeing (when she came back in November 2021) is trying to get her into another hospital.
I feel so sad as she is so mentally unwell. She clearly has an eating disorder and is full of self-hatred. I think she has a personality disorder as well. Her discharge summary from the hospital alluded to that.
The mental health system is broken. I really feel I don’t know who to turn to or what to do. I can’t drag her out of bed. Trans has destroyed her life.
This article has been republished with permission from Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT).