October 11 is National Coming Out Day (NCOD). It was established in 1988, the time during which gay activists began to roll out their strategy to promulgate homo-superiority.

Mainstream media raises the rainbow flag once again, pouring out stories that seek to embrace and celebrate all that homosexuality, and now pan-sexuality, proclaims to offer.

The coming-out story of American Broadcast Company (ABC) news presenter, Alex Perez, has been highlighted by Good Morning America to inform and encourage others to follow suit. Perez states:

Making the decision to come out profoundly changed my life. It deepened my relationships with the people that mattered. It removed a blindfold allowing me to see those in my life who didn’t matter.

I too remember coming out when aged 17. I broke down in prolific tears and told Dad and Mum that I was gay. They said they had known this for some time and affirmed their unconditional love for me.

My mates in high school also honoured me for coming out, affirming me in what they saw and believed to be my true sexual identity.

Like Perez, the inner freedom I experienced was palpable. The unrelenting thoughts of suicide dramatically lessened and my self-harming almost dried up.

The only time I had previously questioned being gay with anybody else was when aged 14 with a lesbian-and-gay phone support service. Once I had stated within the first two minutes that I found other boys sexually attractive, they affirmed me as being gay. There was no lengthy questioning, no diagnosis, no follow-up phone call, just the layering of my persona with the words: “you’re gay”.

At 18, I left my sleepy rural shire, moved to the city, and fully embraced the gay lifestyle. I attached myself to everything that challenged traditional values.

As the first-ever openly gay man in the section of the university I attended, I saw it as my duty to help establish a lesbian-and-gay group which I swiftly set about doing. My calling was to get others to come out.

The same message that NCOD stands for, that “gay is ok”, became my religion. I preached the need for tolerance and equal love, challenging individuals and institutions that dared to suggest that being LGBTQ+ was somehow a choice, or even wrong.

I led a promiscuous life, and, mirroring Perez’s story, then met my long-term gay partner. We jested that we didn’t just practice but actually perfected homosexuality. We remained entirely faithful to one another at all times, a rarity for gay couples.

Our desire was to settle down and make a commitment to one another. There was never any talk of marriage. This was the late ’80s. Marriage was cussed and seen as an outdated heterosexual parody that homosexuals wanted nothing to do with.

While in this relationship, I was invited to a Christian gathering where I was reminded that Jesus was promising more love to me. So, in my heart I told Jesus that should anything be preventing more of his love in my life then I was sorry. I whispered that I wanted him, and his love, to possess me.

At first, nothing seemed to change. But I persevered and daily spent increasing time with God and continued to meet weekly with fellow young Christians.

Months later, my boyfriend noticed that I seemed lighter, happier, more settled within myself, attributing this to my weekly excursion into the Christian closet (admittedly, the room was small and jam-packed with young people). He decided to attend along with me and he too deeply experienced God’s love touching his life.

We began to pray together as a gay couple. We saw biblical texts about homosexuality as untrue, outdated or we just ignored them. After all, we were both daily feeling touched by God’s love which led to us being seen as an archetypal Christian gay couple.

I never felt the need to change what I had been told repeatedly was my sexual orientation. I was told that this was impossible and that I had been born gay. End of discussion.

In the Biblical book of Hebrews, it says that:

God’s word is something alive and active: it cuts like any double-edged sword but more finely: it can slip through the place where the soul is divided from the spirit, or joints from marrow; it can judge the secret emotions and thoughts. No created thing can hide from [God]; everything is uncovered and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account of ourselves.” (My highlights, chapter 4:12-13)

The more I spent time with God, permitting his word to permeate my heart and thoughts, I became increasingly uncomfortable in my exemplary gay relationship. I then felt God not forcing me but gently inviting me to finish my long-term relationship. I agonized over this, but eventually obeyed Him.

And so began my second “coming out”.

Over time, I entered therapy which uncovered a mountain of crippling pain. “Being gay” was never the focus of therapy but neither could my lived reality be left outside of any therapist’s door.

The same therapeutic dialogues I had then are today deemed illegal in Queensland and Australia’s Capital Territory. They are already banned in Brazil, Malta, Ecuador, Albania and Germany with local bans introduced in Canada, Mexico, Spain and the United States.

Therapy helped me face repressed memories of infantile trauma, extensive childhood sex abuse and my being raped by men as a teenager, which had also led me on occasions to deeply question my gender.

Within a few years of appropriate therapy, my insatiable eroticisation of men diminished. Men stopped being a mystery to me, with woman becoming the mystery I desired to pursue. I dated, eventually married a woman, and today love being a father. This was my third “coming out” as I became my truest self in line with my biology and fertility.

Today, I walk alongside many vulnerable Australians, both young and old, who struggle with unwanted sexual attractions and questions about gender. Their voices are rarely if ever heard.

A 20-year-old male from Queensland recently told me:

The recovery journey I recently began has decreased my depression, addictions and raging anxiety, and given me hope to reach my full potential. I want more counselling and avenues of access to people who understand the causes of my [same-sex] issues, not total lockdown. Since my government passed this law, I feel completely betrayed and am being plunged into greater depression and increased anxiety. The message they’re sending is that they don’t respect me. They’re forcing me to embrace something I don’t want to embrace. That’s not their decision to make. It’s mine.

This young man has already taken step one in coming out and is honest about his same-sex attraction (SSA). He has followed Perez’s footsteps, only he now wants to take step two, but is being prevented from doing so by LGBTQ+ lobbyists who have hoodwinked politicians into believing that any form of therapy or prayer linked to sexual attraction is deemed to be harmful, when the opposite is actually true.

On the morning of writing this article, I was copied in on a message from a woman in her mid-30s. She said:

This year I finally got some help from a psychologist… we worked together for 12 weeks to begin changing my thoughts about myself and my self-dialogue that was scrambled from years in toxic relationships and the LGBTQ scene.

I don’t have the desire to be in another active and sexual relationship with a woman.

I’m happy to have sisterhood friendships and close ones but I now see the LGBTQ world as one of immense brokenness and I know there is no fulfilment and life for me there.

It’s hard sometimes to find people who understand this view on days when I feel like talking about it.

This lady is one of eight Australians this past week alone who have expressed to me their desire to move beyond their original coming out into a fuller experience of what it means to live an authentic and integrated sexuality.

The question is this: will our society provide for, embrace and celebrate, in the same way as it now does homosexuality, the need for spaces and places where young and old alike can come out once, twice, or as many times as they need to until they find true community and inner peace?

LGBTQ+ activists have created a themed day which in and of itself is no bad thing. Facing reality is always a good call. The glaring problem around NCOD is this: protagonists only permit a person to come out once and in one direction, towards LGBTQ+ identity and gender ideology. They refuse to entertain or proclaim any other avenue.

This screams of bigotry, exclusivity, intolerance, and a deep-rooted phobia as these same ideologues work hard to shut down and penalise every available conduit for those who have already come out and who now wish to take up a second invitation of coming out by stepping into their own autonomous therapeutic journey.

If NCOD is to be taken seriously, maybe journalist Alex Perez, and even mainstream media, including the media in my own country, Australia, might be courageous, inclusive, tolerant, sensitive and respectful enough to start honestly reporting on the many other hidden stories that show that coming out occurs in more than one direction, with those who reject the LGBTQ+ lifestyle often living fuller and more integrated lives.

As the world-renowned ministry TrueLove.Is declares on its homepage, “Don’t just come out, come home”.

James Parker was a gay rights’ activist. He now facilitates True Identity, an informal network that supports those struggling with sexuality & gender identity issues.